Honor Your Father and Your Mother
“Honor your father and your mother.” — Exodus 20:12
Some commandments become more challenging when we stop reading them as instructions for somebody else.
Honoring our parents sounds simple when we are children. As adults, we discover that gratitude, disagreement, disappointment, and love can occupy the same heart. We can remember what hurt us while forgetting what someone sacrificed for us.
The commandment calls us to remember.
Our parents were people before they became our parents. They carried burdens we never saw, made decisions we did not understand, and faced limitations we may recognize only after encountering our own. Honor begins when we allow them the humanity we hope others will allow us.
That does not make every parent right. It does not require pretending that abuse was love, accepting mistreatment, or surrendering necessary boundaries. For someone raised in danger, honoring a parent may include prayer from a safe distance. Christian teaching must make room for those wounds.
Jesus upheld this commandment. He also taught us to love truthfully. Honor can mean listening before answering, speaking without contempt, acknowledging generosity, and admitting our own wrongs without attaching an excuse.
Sometimes the most faithful words are also the simplest: I was wrong. Thank you. I am sorry.
I am learning this myself. I have beautiful parents, and I have not always understood how to honor them through disagreement. I am deeply grateful for what they have given me, and I regret the hurt I have caused.
An apology cannot demand forgiveness or set a timetable for reconciliation. It can open a door through humility, patience, and changed behavior.
Honoring our Father in heaven includes taking seriously His command to honor our parents on earth. We begin with the responsibility that belongs to us.
Today, remember one kindness. Offer one prayer. Where contact is welcome and appropriate, express one honest word of gratitude.
We cannot rewrite yesterday. By God’s grace, we can choose how we speak and live today.
Love can begin again with humility.